i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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