Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
