I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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