whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
