The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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