Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
