covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Randomize
