I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
