your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
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