That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
she peed on how many people?
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
