According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
