wake up i wanna do it froggy style
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
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btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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