Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Randomize
