sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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