I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
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