handjob tips. give me some.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
