How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Gay?
German.
Pity.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
