are you still at the devil's house?
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
