seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
