we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
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