Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
