Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
