he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
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So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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