this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
