Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
