a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
