I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
