More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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