You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize