You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
