I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize
