That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
