My liver just broke up with me...
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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