my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize
