You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
