return my video game
Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
Randomize
