please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I think people are normalizing furries
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Randomize
