So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
