I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
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Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
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doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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