Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
