I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
