Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
