Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
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