know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
