I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
