i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
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My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
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She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
You've changed since you got that strap on
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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