Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
What is this nonsense on the table
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.