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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .

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• (317): View more from Indiana

  He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.

  (1-541): View more from Oregon

  Happy Birthday

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (615): View more from Tennessee

  Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand

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• (731): View more from Tennessee

  Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.

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• (425): View more from Washington

  Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.

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• (604): View more from British Columbia

  Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.

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• (517): View more from Michigan

  The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night

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• (870): View more from Arkansas

  Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  "I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"

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• (716): View more from New York

  I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.

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• (812): View more from Indiana

  I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it

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