My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.