This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize