you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize