so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
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