I accidentally burped into my bong.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
