sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
