i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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