You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
