she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
