There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize