She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
