They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
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