Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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