do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
