My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
We talked him into tasing himself.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
