Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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