Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Randomize
